New Life Begins Here.

I had my interview for an Access Course yesterday, that I want to start in September. I've wanted to go to Uni for years but it's always seemed such an overwhelming goal, to give up my job and bite that bullet. Now I've lost that job anyway. I'd been browsing through jobs and all the ones I could do with my limited qualifications were boring boring boring. I really had to think to myself 'is this all I want from life?' 
The answer was no.
The next question was 'how do I get more?'
The answer was further studying. 

So I started seriously looking in to ways to do this, and an Access course seemed the best route considering my background with education. (Those who've read my Spartacus blog post will know I left school at 14 with no qualifications whatsoever.)

Luckily, in 2001, I went to college and did an English GCSE. I've never 'used' it since, in that having that alone as a GCSE has never come in to play. Now, it does. For the Access course you need to already have either maths or english GCSE. I've was initially under the impression I would need to do maths alongside the access course. My maths is soooo bad, no, let me rephrase, my numeracy is sooo bad. I decided to undertake a numeracy course under the 'skills for life' scheme to prepare for the seemingly unavoidable maths GCSE. I had an assessment a few weeks ago and have done two weeks of the course (is just one evening a week). 
Having now researched the university courses I want to do, none of them require it. 
So the best news of the day, I don't need to do a maths GCSE at the same time as the access course!! Wooo! 
The second best news of the day, is I got accepted on to the access course. 

The level of help available at the college is simply astounding. When I turned up for the interview, there were dozens of people waiting for various 'welcome events' in a corridor, no seats of course. I managed to find a small window sill to perch on and rested my chin on my stick.
A lady then came along and said to about 5 of us who were waiting for the Access course interviews to follow her. We went down a few corridors and I was trailing behind, I was about to loose them as they turned yet another corner when this other woman, who I'd never seen before, came up to me and said 'Are you Sarah?' Wow, the relief that came over me at that point.
She stayed with me throughout the interview, literacy assessments and everything. She is going to sort out a scribe to take notes for my during lessons, a carparking space wherever I need it that is closest to where I am having classes that day, a key to the lifts, longer time to sit exams if required, a padded and high backed chair. 
It was all done with such ease and no hint of patronising. I didn't have to ask for any of it (in fact I was resisting some of, particularly the scribe) but I am simply overwhelmed by the support available. I don't want to appear different to the other students by having a support worker sat with me in classes, but they soon allayed my fears about that. The said the support worker would just be like part of the class, taking part in debates etc. In fact the support worker seemed so keen to sit in on this course she was chomping at the bit to have me accept her help! 
I decided to put aside my memories of school, of being bullied because I had a learning support assistant attend every lesson with me. That was for entirely different reasons though (ones I didn't agree with at the time and still don't) and with an entirely different sent of people. A group of 30+ 14/15yr olds are going to be generally much less accepting than a smaller group of mature students. 
So I accepted all the help they offered. I am still not sure on a scribe, but having done a short written test before the interview my arm was very weak and painful, so I thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea.

I then did the literacy test and flew through that, beating myself for getting one wrong, only to be told it was a very good score, so that was a confidence boost.

There is however, one blot on the landscape, how the hell am I going to pay for all this. Tuition fees aren't a problem, (there is enough help available for them) but how will I pay my bills? The course is technically full time (16hrs a week at college, 16hrs at home) and I've been told that DWP often turn one down for ESA if you are doing what the college label a full time course. 
Money schomey. I WILL do this. I CAN do this. 


And why is my life going in this direction? Because of MS. Every cloud and all that.