After the sunset experience all I seem to want to do is be. I am happy not having any tv or music on. I realised that when I put my iPod in as I walk, or sit and look at a sunset – I thought I was trying to keep my mind busy but actually I was doing the opposite. I was trying to turn off my mind. Trying to do everything to keep my mind from thinking, today I let myself go in to thinking. I didn’t turn to the usual distractions and you know what, it wasn’t so bad at all. Even while I was sitting thereI got to a point where I wanted to put my music back in, I felt I had ‘thought enough’ but I stopped myself and in doing so felt like I went through a barrier that I would usually have put up.
As I came down the hill and out on to the street on the way home, I came face to face with a guy who I had an altercation with a few months ago. I’d come out of yoga and was waiting to cross the road and he asked if I had any spare change. I informed him that my money wasn’t spare and he didn’t take kindly to this, we had a ‘conversation’ which ended in him telling me to ‘go back to my flat and die’. I’ve seen him around a few times begging aggressively since. So as I saw him today I felt the usual response instantly of being nervous, then I thought back to my feeling of collectiveness and no longer felt worried about walking passed him. We are all just part of the same thing in one way or another, all of our uniqueness’s good and bad, make up the rich pattern that is life.
I know this probably all sounds really cheesey , crazy or just down right obvious, but it felt like a poignant experience that I wanted to share.
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